Figli e nuovi partner dei genitori: E' ammissibile un divieto di frequentazione?

Rapporti tra figli e nuovi partner!

Un quesito che spesso viene posto all’attenzione dell’avvocato da parte di genitori separati è il seguente:“Posso vietare al mio/alla mia ex di far frequentare i nostri figli al suo nuovo partner?”.

Considerando sempre e comunque la necessità di fare una distinzione tra i vari casi, avendo ciascuno delle peculiarità, si può comunque affermare che, in termini generali, non è possibile accogliere la richiesta del genitore volta ad impedire qualsiasi rapporto tra i propri figli ed il nuovo partner dell’ex, sempre che la relazione con il nuovo compagno sia ormai consolidata e purché non vi sia un pregiudizio significativo per la prole.

La ratiodi quanto innanzi fa riferimento ad un principio cardine da tenere sempre a mente anche postseparazione, ossia alprincipio della bigenitorialità: con la separazione e/o il divorzio, è vero che si smette di essere marito e moglie, ma non si smette di essere una coppia genitoriale, motivo per il quale i figli, anche dopo la fine della vita coniugale, hanno diritto di partecipare alla vita di entrambi i genitori nella sua interezza.

Seppur nella prassi si assista spesso a divieti posti da un genitore nei confronti dei figli in merito alla frequentazione del nuovo partner dell’ex, tali “imposizioni”, oltre a potersi ripercuotere negativamente sui figli (costretti, in tal modo, ad allearsi con uno dei due genitori), risultano del tutto ingiustificate, oltre che illegittime, non esistendo alcuna norma che le avvalli.

Ed è stata proprio la Suprema Corte di Cassazione, con sentenza n. 283/2009, a sancire che non sia giustificato il divieto per il nuovo partner di incontrare i figli del compagno, sussistendo, nel caso esaminato, una relazione stabile ed equilibrata.

Interessante, a tal proposito, è anche una pronuncia del Tribunale di Milano, sez. IX civ. che, con ordinanza 23 marzo 2013, ha ribadito che il genitore separato ha diritto di coinvolgere il proprio figlio nella sua nuova relazione sentimentale, sempre che non vi sia un pregiudizio per il minore, ed adottando le cautele richieste dal caso. Potrebbe infatti configurarsi un’ipotesi di lesione del diritto di visita con pernottamento nell’ipotesi in cui si vietasse al convivente del genitore non collocatario di frequentare il figlio del proprio partner.

Ci si troverebbe, infatti, dinnanzi allo scomodo deferimento al genitore di una scelta, ossia quella tra il figlio ed il proprio compagno, e che si giustificherebbe solo nell’ipotesi in cui l’interesse superiore del minore fosse pregiudicato da tali incontri. Nell’ordinanza del Tribunale di Milano,inoltre, si legge che:

“la migliore letteratura psicologica sul punto ritiene che il graduale inserimento dei nuovi compagni, nella vita dei figli di genitori separati, corrisponda al loro benessere, dove madre e padre abbiano cura e premura di far comprendere alla prole che le nuove figure non si sostituiscono a quelle genitoriali”.

La legge, dunque, non tutela sentimenti di mera gelosia verso il partner dell’ex, pur non escludendosi che uno dei coniugi avanzi comunque una richiesta al Giudice, al fine di ottenere una pronuncia che disponga una limitazione alla frequentazione dei nuovi partner. Si deve però tenere a mente che l’accoglimento di una simile domanda sarà subordinato ad un’attenta analisi del caso di specie, all’esito della quale si possa, con certezza, ritenere che dagli incontri con il nuovo partner possa derivare un pregiudizio per il benessere psico-fisico dei figli.

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